


Steadfast.

by ilostmyothersock



Series: With the tide. [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Eating Disorders, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilostmyothersock/pseuds/ilostmyothersock
Summary: A few months after Merrick, Nile begins to suspect that something is wrong with Nicky. She doesn't actually find out. Set before "For everything but you." Mind the TW.TW: allusions to depression and weight loss (brief), mentions of disordered eating/skipped meals
Series: With the tide. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884397
Comments: 11
Kudos: 130





	Steadfast.

If Nile had to describe Nicky in one word, she would use “steadfast.” Nothing seems to shake him.

Or, at least, that is what she believes at first.

In the beginning, she sees only the gentle smiles, the quiet huffs of laughter at Joe’s sometimes boisterous antics, the care he puts into making sure they are all fed (and fed well) every day, and the understanding in his eyes every time she stutters out an explanation of a nightmare, and the empathy in them every time she can’t help but feel horrendously lonely.

As time goes on, however, she starts to notice little, and then not-so-little things. She wonders, desperately wracking her brain, if these things are new developments, or if they were always there and she was just too new, or too distracted, or too ignorant to see them.

When Joe is the one making dinner one night, though, instead of Nicky (who has done it every night since she joined them, regardless of how late they’ve gotten back, or how tired he’s been, or how much blood has been soaked into his shirt), she is sure that something is up.

She had been wondering if Nicky had been more quiet than usual lately, but with how quiet he always was, with how he always spoke in actions and not words, she hadn’t been sure.

She had thought that maybe he was picking at his food, but she didn’t think she’d known him long enough to know what his usual habits were.

She had been worried about the way his smiles seemed to come fewer and farther between, and had thought that they seemed to very rarely reach his eyes lately, but she had told herself that she was reading into something that wasn’t there. Nicky’s mannerisms were subtle, and she hadn’t known them for very long after all (compared to their hundreds of years with each other, especially) and so maybe she was putting together clues that weren’t clues at all.

Now, though, sitting at the table across from Andy, watching as she eats silently, her forehead pinched in a worried frown as Joe takes two plates of dinner and wordlessly makes his way to the stairs toward the bedrooms, Nile is beginning to suspect that there might be something going on after all.

\---

When Joe comes back downstairs over an hour later, one plate empty and the other barely picked at, Andy looks up at him from where she is sitting on the couch, reading (or not reading, really - Nile hasn’t seen her turn the page in at least twenty minutes). He shakes his head briefly at her, a pained look in his eyes. Andy scrubs a hand down her face before pushing herself off the couch as she and Joe start discussing something in hushed tones, in a language Nile doesn’t recognize.

“Is Nicky okay?” Nile can’t help but blurt out.

They both whip around to face her. Andy opens and closes her mouth without saying anything. Joe’s eyes take on a distant glaze just as his mouth pulls into what Nile assumes is meant to be a comforting smile.

“He’s fine, Nile. Don’t worry. We’ve just been discussing a... a holiday.”

Nile frowns. “A holiday? From this seaside town in Portugal where we’ve done nothing for weeks?”

Joe nods. He hesitates for a moment before he continues, “Nicky and I are going to visit one of our old properties, get some sun, you know...” He gives her a tentative smile. She turns to look at Andy.

“And us?”

Andy runs her hand through her hair. “Uh, we... _we_... will be going somewhere else. Got some surveillance to do for Copley. Just a two person thing, no need to bring everybody.”

Nile stares blankly back. They’ve been adamantly refusing to split up since they left Booker by the Thames, insisting that they were safest together even during downtime. Now they want to split up for a _job_. “Where, exactly, are we going?”

“They’re heading to Malta, we’ll head north.”

 _North_. That’s not vague at all. Nile’s frown deepens. Joe presses a kiss to Andy’s cheek, his hands still full with their dishes, before heading to the kitchen, presumably to clean up. Andy watches him go before turning back to Nile, her face unreadable. “Pack your stuff, I have to call Copley.”

Nile has a sneaking suspicion that Copley isn’t actually aware that he needs them to do surveillance, but she says nothing and heads to her room to pack. When she comes back to the kitchen, Joe is sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea.

“Where’s Andy?” she asks as she starts making her own cup. Joe gives her a smile as she sits down across from him.

“With Nicky - just wanted to discuss a few things before we part ways.”

“Are you leaving tonight?”

Joe shakes his head. “Tomorrow. You should try to go to sleep soon, Andy will want to get started horrendously early. You’re going to Brussels.” Nile nods. She hasn’t been there yet. “I’ll send you a list of our favourite places. Belgium is lovely.” Nile nods again, taking a sip of her tea.

“I’d appreciate that.”

\---

The next morning (really horrendously early, just as Joe had said), Nicky gives Nile a gentle hug and a smile that Nile can only describe as wan before Joe leads Nile out to their rented car, carrying Andy’s bag. He loads it into the trunk before reaching for Nile’s. After putting hers in as well he shuts the door, turning around and leaning it. He slings an arm around her.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” he presses a kiss to her hair, “and take care of the boss too.” Nile nods, leaning her head against his shoulder. His arm is a comforting weight as he starts talking about their favourite places to eat in Brussels, but Nile isn’t really paying attention.

Her eyes are on the open door to the house, through which she can see Andy pulling Nicky into a tight hug. His face is pressed into her shoulder, and she runs her hand through his hair a few times before pulling back slightly and putting her fingers on his chin, tilting his head to look at her directly. Nile can’t hear what she’s saying, but she talks to him intently, her eyes on his and her other arm still around him. His eyes look suspiciously bright, even from a distance, and when Andy brings up a thumb to swipe at his cheek she thinks he must be crying.

She doesn’t see anything else though, as at that moment Joe clears his throat, patting her on the shoulder before leading her around to the passenger seat of the car. As she settles herself in her seat he leans against the car door, grinning at her.

“You’ll have a great time!”

His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, which keep flitting to the doorway where Andy is still hovering close to Nicky. Nile takes his hand in hers, giving it a quick squeeze, wishing she knew what was wrong (because something definitely was). Just as she opens her mouth to ask, though, Andy is pulling Joe away for a hug before getting into the driver’s seat and pulling her door shut. Nile takes that as her cue, closing hers as well as Andy starts the car.

“They’ll get through it,” Andy murmurs almost to herself before pulling the car out into the street. She then settles into a silence so stony that Nile doesn’t dare ask what she means.

\---

When they’re reunited almost two months later in a hotel room in Libya, Nicky greets her with a bright grin and a tight hug before leading her over to the table where’s he’s laid out dinner and wine. Joe chatters brightly about a cat named Scoiattolo, Andy relays information that they had gathered during their time apart, and talks about a possible upcoming job.

Nicky is quiet, but when Nile turns to look at him he catches her eyes, sending her a reassuring smile before offering her another helping of tajin mahshi and topping off her glass of wine. He looks happier than he had when they parted ways. She thinks his cheeks might look a little fuller too.

He looks so _well_ , in fact, that any questions Nile had been holding onto about what had been going on lately fade away. She is afraid to bring the distant look back to his face, and the tension back to Joe’s shoulders. Even Andy had been visibly relieved when she saw the two of them with her own eyes.

Nile is suddenly very, very sure that she isn’t going to ask about it (whatever _it_ was), and, looking at them as they revel in each others’ company, she is just as sure that they aren’t going to talk about it either.

What she isn’t sure of is whether everything is actually okay again, or if the walls have just been rebuilt higher than before.


End file.
